at the tower...

so i thought it would be different right now. this whole semester. i thought it would be a breeze. i wouldn't have any major problems... boy was i wrong and its only been 5 weeks. i will take the summer back and my main worry was toggling between the cardinals and field hockey. ah those were the days. i never thought i would have said that...

the library will soon be my second home. i have to start sleeping more. i need to start writing lots of papers... damn writing major and minor. (and internship for that matter).

i think my parents are serious about having my grad party at the tower... oh who to invite.

what to do.

back on fb...its not as exciting as it used to be. I guess I'm weird. 

So I'm wondering about the 500 point drop by the Dow today. I really didn't hear much about it on the news...granted I'm watching baseball but still. BBC is calling it Meltdown Monday...and it could have been worse is what it reports. I don't have much money but i like the little amount that i do have, ya know?

He talked to me on Sunday...but it was light and one-dimensional. i guess i fucked up another good guy friendship again. 

Field hockey WON!!

I want to share that FIELD HOCKEY WON 8-0 against Lindenwood tonight. And they played it on TV!!!

We also have the best athletic team record so far this season!!!

I signed up for the GRE

I now have to take the GRE at 9 am on Oct. 17. Please keep me in your positive thoughts section of your brain on this date. I am gonna need any help i can get. Also if you see me later in the day, and Im a zombie...you know why! lol. 

Now i have to actually start studying. LOL.

for the time being i don't have a fb account. one less distraction. I have a feeling due to the recent events on saturday, i am gonna throw myself into work and kinda the sorority. leave no time to dwell on him. Im sad that it came to this. I would just like an answer. Not avoidance. That probably hurts worse. 

Tonight is a pretty night to take a walk... to bad i have no one to do that with. and i actually have time to do it. 

getting something off my chest

so i don't really know what i should do... about really anything. a particular boy, life after school, life in the present... anything.

i had convinced myself i was just gonna be friends with this boy... now he just confuses me. it seems every time that i talk to him i find something else that upsets me about what he does or says. I'm not sure but i doubt that is a good thing. I know i am not perfect either, far from it, but be honest or at least stick to what you say. But one good part about our weird ass friendship was that only one part of my world knew who he was and now my worlds are mixing. I have tried very hard to keep them all separate... and i don't know if i like it. I have worked pretty damn hard to keep it all juggled correctly... and balls are falling.